Because I'm a Sucker for a Questionnaire

Thanks for starting this, Lisa! I've enjoyed reading others' answers, so I thought I'd jump on this train, too.

1) How long have you been with your husband?

We started dating 12 years ago, and got married 3 1/2 years ago, finally ending 9 years of long distance relationship. There's a lot to be said for long distance relationships--I recommend that all people dating do it for awhile. But 9 years is a bit excessive.

2) Can you remember a funny miscommunication due to language barriers?
I think most of our miscommuncations that triggered real responses were more due to the fact that our personalities and world views are so different.

However, he always made me giggle a bit (to myself) when we were dating and instead of saying, "You had better not do that", he'd say "You better don't". I never corrected him because I thought it was adorable. Then he spent a year in Sweden, speaking nothing but English, and all his cute, little not-quite-right phrases were erased. I miss those.

3) Where have you relocated?

Saltillo, Coahuila, Mexico. We had known for years that it would be inevitable that we'd spend at least a few years here, but neither of us was real thrilled with the prospect. I think we both viewed northern Mexico as a huge, cultureless, icky wasteland. And really, that stereotype probably isn't too far off the mark. But I've come to learn that northern Mexico does posses a number of charms, and Saltillo is one of them. While part of me daydreams about moving back to either the US or central/southern Mexico, part of me knows that in a number of important ways, we've got the best of both worlds here.

4) Do you have any children?

For all intents and purposes, I've got two kids (unless something goes very wrong in the next few days). Clara just turned 2 1/2, and I probably talk about her way too much on this page. The boy-child is welcome to get his tiny toushie out of my womb any day now.

5) What is one thing your blogger friends don't know about you?

Despite the fact that I probably share way too much personal information on this blog, initiating a conversation on the phone (except with very close family and friends) just terrifies me. I spent the better part of this afternoon psyching myself up to call our babysitters so Mario and I might be able to spend our last baby-free weekend watching Harry Potter on Harry Potter's birthday (yeah, I'm that kind of cool). Of course, talking on the phone in Spanish is, admittedly, a little scary, but one of my babysitters is a native English speaker!!! And they're both lovely, lovely young women, with whom I have no problem speaking in person. What is the matter with me?!?

6) How did you stumble on this blogging community?

Blogger has this neat, little feature at the top, left-hand side of their pages that reads "Next Blog". One day, I was clicking away on that, weeding through endless mommy-blogs and Portugese poetry, eventually stumbling on Teresa in Merida's blog, "What Do I Do All Day?. She linked to a number of other ex-pat-in-Mexico blogs, and I spent most of that night up reading . . . best night of next-to-no-sleep ever! Up until that point, I felt like a number of you, wondering, "am I the only one out here?" It's been such a godsend to know that's not the case.

7) Have you learned something new about this whole process that has changed all our lives?

a) moving to Mexico: had you asked anybody that knew me in high school (or especially before) I'd had to have been one of the last people anyone would expect to move to a foreign country. Super-shy, anxiety-ridden: no way would I leave my comfort zone. Those four months I spent here as a study-abroad student in college changed me in ways that four months have no business doing to a person. I found that I had many more personal resources than I ever imagined. I realized that no matter where I was, there I was. Sounds simple enough, but when I found myself unexpectedly sleeping at a friend's apartment--not part of my plan for the night, no clothes to change into, no contact solution, no one else knew I was there--I realized that I was FINE. So what no one else knew where I was? I knew that I was fine, and what else really matters? Sometimes I got lost. I'd get un-lost. I was FINE. Go with it, Jill--go with it.
And boy, did I!

b) While I haven't had to deal with immigration issues personally, in getting to know the many of you who are here because of such issues, my eyes have been opened--profoundly. When I first became acquainted with some of your stories, especially those of you who packed up and moved to Mexico, having never been here before and speaking no Spanish, I was challenged to my core. Do I love my husband that much? I really don't know. Your stories, through sharing your daily struggles and triumphs of living in a foreign land just to keep your family together, have made those vows we all took to love our spouses "for better and for worse"--a concept that was once an abstract for me, is now understood (through your stories) as a concrete reality. Thank you for sharing, thank you for your honesty, and for challenging me in your own ways, whether you know you've provided me with such an influence or not.

This is not AT ALL to knock the struggles of those who must be separated from a spouse, thanks to immigration. That journey is equally difficult, and all who undergo it have very legitimate reasons for remaining in the US. We all have different stories, and yours--while heartbreaking--are also inspiring.


8) Something you love about Mexico and something you can't stand:

I've probably said it before, and it probably sounds naive to say it, but living here often feels like living back in time a few decades. When life was simpler. This does have its advantages and disadvantages, but overall, I prefer it.

When I was fresh out of college, I volunteered for a year with the Border Servant Corps. One of the focuses of the program was for volunteers to spend some serious time thinking about what it means to "live simply". Given our monthly budgets, living simply was a given. But we were forced to look beyond our budget. For good or bad, how were our spending choices or lifestyles affecting the environment and our communities? How could we re-align our habits to coincide with our values, making sustainable choices and strengthening our communities? Although rewarding, this was exhausting work. It felt like we spent so much time and energy "fighting The Man". However, after I moved to Mexico, all the little, "radical" choices I made to realign my habits with my values just seemed to come naturally. Living a simpler life in Mexico is often the only option. I don't feel like I'm swimming against the current here.

Then again, in Mexico,"The Man" is just so big and so powerful and so out-of-touch that there's really no fighting. Conversations with successful people and any number of newspaper articles just seem to throw in the towel when the conversation turns to enacting real change. After living here for years, I'm beginning to understand. Sometimes I almost get the feeling that I could be turned into a cynic here. The US still gives the illusion that ordinary people do have the power to change things. And, in some respects, I believe that is more than an illusion. For me, that's the real draw of the US.

9) Did you know your in-laws before moving? Has it been a big adjustment being closer to them?

I was well acquainted with my in-laws before moving here permanently. Two or three years after I met Mario, he finally took me to meet his parents (I was the first girl he took home). Meeting them helped me understand Mario so much better. He's still an odd, odd guy. But to see him with these people who molded him into the person he is, who love him more than the sun, moon, and stars (and, despite that, all agree that he has always been an odd duck) made me appreciate him so much more than I had up to that point.

They're wonderful, wonderful people, and when we lived within an hour or two of them, it would often be me that would suggest, "why don't we visit your family this weekend? I miss them!" Unfortunately, now that we live halfway between my family and his (or would, if it weren't for the Great State of Texas), we're no longer close to them, geographically.

10) If you were to go back to the US next week, where is the first place you'd go after seeing friends/family?

The library! Oh, how I miss free, quality books in English (in, essentially, unlimited quantities). And now that I've got a kid old enough for story hour . . . ooo--how that dream teases me!

Then again, I'd love to visit a park. A park with a lot of trees, bordering flowing water (Foster Park, Metea Park--I'm not picky). Or I would walk the public trail behind my parents' house to the county park, complete with playground, at the end of the trail.

I guess I just need to commune with trees, whether alive or mashed into processed pulp. =P

Frozen Caballos

The new favorite treat at our house--popscicles.

Or, as Clara tends to call them, "po-cay-yos". For a few weeks, she was calling them "caballos". Yes, the Spanish word for horses . . . no idea why.

But she's so into them that she knows them both by their English name AND the Spanish name. Coffee is about the only other thing that makes this category. Gotta be clear here--to whoever she may ask for a flavored block of ice.

And ask she does. First thing after waking up, in her high-pitched, cartoon-character voice, "Pocayos? Pink pocayo?" After at a month or two of eating them regularly, she's still in denial that we never, ever indulge until after her nap. Or maybe she's hoping I'll slip and she'll get lucky.

All winter/spring, I had been on the lookout for popsicle molds, but hadn't had any luck. (To be honest, I hadn't looked THAT hard.) I know I saw them last summer in Jojutla, in one of those stores that sells nothing but cheap plastic products. We don't live by any of those stores here in Saltillo and, while we pass one on our bus route, it never seemed worth the extra 6 pesos to make the special trip. So, in May when I visited Indiana, lo and behold, Wal-Mart's seasonal aisle stocked popscicle molds. Bought them then and there. Again, this probably wasn't something I necessarily needed to import to Mexico (I still think I could find them somewhere in Saltillo), but I thought I'd regret it if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity presented.

Too true.

When my friends borrowed our cochera for their garage sale in June, I thought it was the perfect time to inaugurate the popscicle molds, so I dumped some extra-concentrated jamaica water in the molds. As June was pretty brutal heat-wise, and our cochera gets next-to-no shade, the flavored chunks of ice were a godsend. And it's so easy, it's now a steady habit.

So far I've tried jamaica popscicles, tamarindo, cafe con leche (and a LOT of sugar!), horchata, banana milkshakes, and strawberry lemonade from Chili's left over from a kiddie cup (divine). I've currently got a handful of limes that I may squeeze, sweeten and freeze tomorrow. But, beyond those obvious flavors, does anyone have any other yummy variations on the popscicle?

Given its easy-ness, delicious-ness, and positive nutrition factor, the banana milkshake popscicles are our standby.

• In a blender, throw together one or two VERY ripe bananas, a teaspoon of cinnamon, two tablespoons of peanut butter, and enough milk to bring the entire concoction to two cups (works well for 8 individual popscicles).
  
• Blend, freeze overnight, eat. Feel guilt-free, as just about every food group is represented, AND there's no added sugar! Woo-hoo!

Note: the only popscicle flop we've had so far were the horchata ones, made from Princesa brand concentrate. I had never used this concentrate before, so I didn't realize that even in a pitcher of water, it needs constant stirring anytime anyone wants a glass of horchata, as the concentrate immediately sinks to the bottom of the pitcher. The same is true of the popsicles, so when I left them in the freezer overnight, the very tops of each popscicle were loaded with chalky-white concentrate, while the bottom 4-inches of popscicle were merely sweetened water.

Just a word to the wise!

Everything else has frozen fairly uniformly. And, with the coffee ones, I am happy to announce that I'm finally NOT missing the mocha frappes from the Italian Coffee Company. So good. So much colder. And I'm not spending 30+ pesos on them. Excellent.

Goes Buzz in the Night

With the house being so stinkin' hot the later in the day that it gets, I'm finding myself spending a lot of time in the patio in the evenings. However, I'm always by myself, as the hubs refuses to join me, due to his hatred of mosquitoes.

I do understand his feelings. They're irritating. They put me a over the edge when they buzz in my ears. And he gets bit by them.

I don't.

Now, I used to be just like everyone else on the planet and the mosquitoes loved sucking my blood, and I'd swell and slap them and itch. But it's been twelve years since this has been a noticeable problem.

I first noticed this anomaly when I was a camp counselor in 2000. My girls were stuck inside the cabin on a rainy day and were passing the time by counting their mosquito bites.

"I've got 109!"

"I've got 73!"

I took a look at myself and found about 4. Why on earth were the girls being bitten to death but not me? Was it their sweet, young blood? At the ripe, old age of 21 I was no longer attractive to mosquitoes?

Upon further reflection, I decided that I had been cured from mosquitoes. And, while I'm not exactly sure why, I've got a pretty good idea.

Back when I was doing my study-abroad semester in Mexico in 1999, a friend and I decided to take off for a long weekend and visit Taxco. It was April, the height of the dry season, and we opened the windows wide in our hotel room to let in some refreshing, mountain breezes. The windows were open all day, and when we finally got ready for bed that night, we found that we had unwittingly invited just about every mosquito in the northern part of Guerrero in our room.

It was hands-down the most awful night of my life. I didn't sleep a wink. We got bit and buzzed and swollen within an inch of our lives.

However, since then, I can't say that mosquitoes have bothered me too much. Sometimes I see them on my arms and I kill them. They rarely leave a mark, and it's even more rare for those few mosquito bites to itch.

One sleepless night with a bazillion mosquitoes in exchange for a lifetime of being immune to mosquito bites?

I don't think I would have chosen it, but I'm sure glad it happened!

(Not sure what else may now be crawling around in my bloodstream, but let's just not think about that!)

I'm Turning into My Father

For years I've made fun of my dad for his solitaire obsession. He can happily spend hours in front of the computer, electronically shuffling his cards and testing his luck. I never understood it.

Until December of 2008, when I was eight months pregnant with Clara. I picked up a deck of cards and didn't put them down for a month. Even when my in-laws were here for Christmas, I shuffled away, trying not to be too horribly anti-social. But I was a woman obsessed.

Two and a half years later, here we are again. Eight months pregnant, and the cards are on the table, beckoning. I'll doubtlessly play another game before I go to bed. What is with this?

The thing is, I'm apparently really good at solitaire when I'm really pregnant. I've always thought that it was more of a game of luck than anything. Maybe a year ago, I picked up the cards and won a game while I lost five others. Now, I win five games for every one I lose. The odds were the same the last time my obsession reared it's ugly head (or huge belly).

So does that mean that I'm especially lucky when I play cards when really pregnant? Let's go to Vegas and find out!

(Of course, I'd BETTER be especially lucky if I were to go to Vegas now, because if the baby comes early, while we're in Vegas . . . I'll need all those ill-gotten gains to pay for the uninsured US birth. So I think I'll stay put.)

Ewww . . . really?

The other day, I took my daughter, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law to the park so one of the four of us could play outside for the afternoon. It was a lovely day with the sun shining, a breeze blowing the tree branches, well-dressed kids teasing the turtles in the pond after their graduation ceremonies, and then . . .

"Could you spit on my daughter's foot, please?"

WHAT?!?

Clara was happily rocking away on her motorcycle, when a woman and her 12-year-old daughter came up to us. The daughter was clearly uncomfortable, as her mother explained that an ant had bitten her. Yep, that does sting. Then again, it may have been her mother's request that really made uncomfortable.

Being at the park, they were all out of ice, meat tenderizers, and other home remedies for cutting pain from stings. She had heard that pregnant women's spit could ease stings. And, when she mentioned this, I felt like I had heard this somewhere, too.

So I spit on the poor kid's foot.

I hope it helped even a little bit, because if she wasn't uncomfortable before, having her foot smeared with a stranger's spit could easily change the situation from uncomfortable to unbearable.

In my defense, though, I do remember a dentist of mine telling me that one's saliva gets slightly more acidic when pregnant, and he recommended rinsing my mouth out nightly with baking soda and water, to counter the effects of my more acidic saliva so it wouldn't attack my teeth. So maybe there is some truth in this, after all.

However, I still think the girl might have gotten more relief from sticking her foot in the turtle pond.

Drought's End (I Hope)

Here in northern Mexico, things are pretty desert-like. Most of this part of the country IS officially a desert. Saltillo, however, is high enough in altitude (and must get a bit more annual rainfall in comparison to the surrounding areas) to officially qualify it as a temperate zone, located smack in the middle of a desert. However, that doesn't mean that we get much rain. At least in my opinion.

And this year, it's been a lot less than usual. I heard rumors that we were into the worst drought in 70 years.

The country in general seems to be suffering from a lack of rain. In the Mexico City region, the rainy season usually starts punctually at the end of May, rains every afternoon/evening, and peters out in September or October. However, it only just began raining there.

How ironic, considering the floods that have been washing out much of the US.

However, once I heard that Mario's mom and sister were going to visit us this week, I KNEW that the rain would finally come. In a given year, Mario's mom and sister tend to spend about 4 weeks with us, and at least two of those weeks are overcast and rainy. In general, Saltillo only has 3-4 overcast, rainy weeks a year. I don't know how they do it.

This time around is no different. So thanks for bringing the rain, Mago and Lili! I know it will make for a more boring week than you intended, but we sure need it.

In fact, if you could hang out until September, we'll have the greenest desert ever! (Granted, we'll all go stir-crazy, but wouldn't it be worth it?)